A personal 900 number

Why in the world does Christopher Hitchens want this (link)?
 

I trust you answer the e-mail of your friends at no charge.
I haven’t got to the point yet where phone calls and e-mails are billable, but I am working on it. That would be happiness defined for me. What I’m hoping is to get a 900 number, so I can tell all my friends, “Call me back on my 900 number: 1-900-HITCH22.” I can talk for a long time. 

(Hat Tip: Marginal Revolution)

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